Into The Void

"Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle."

-Napolean Hill

     The past few weeks have been full of contrast, but most of all full of personal growth. When I faced my fear of telling the people I loved most about my recovering addiction to pornography and masturbation, I thought that was going to be the hardest part of the journey. I was sorely mistaken. The hardest part of this journey has been how one of the people I cared most about has distanced themselves from me. Not because they were disgusted by me, but by themselves. I never thought that would be the case. Through this part of my journey, I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned that I'm much stronger than I think. I've learned that I can do so much more than I have even thought possible. As of lately, I have engaged in many activities that make me feel much fulfillment. To name a few, I play in a band with not just fantastic musicians, but phenomenal people. I go to school learning about the things in life I'm passionate about. I get to work in close proximity to my life commitment to being healthy, fit, and improving overall wellness of the mind, body and soul. Basically what I'm getting at is that while I am going through an episode in my life where there is struggle, it makes me more aware of who and what has been there the whole time, as well as that there is so much more to my life than just one person. If you hand over the control of your life to someone else, it's much harder to LIVE NOW and seize what is yours. The power to control your life internally is yours and yours alone to have. I have to warn you though. This doesn't mean you won't have struggles. In fact, so far I would say you'll encounter more struggle. Some of the struggle will be from external sources trying to beat you back into line with everyone else on the giant chess board of the world, but that won't be the biggest source of struggle. You are you're biggest road block. You will be your biggest problem, but you have to remember that while you are the biggest problem, you are the only solution. You are the solution to all your problems and struggles. That is the main principle that I've gathered through this struggle of being pushed away. And now I'm filling the void with myself. That is what we must do. Fill our voids with ourselves. This will allow us to grow and become more fulfilled and LIVE NOW! Thanks for reading this small update. I intend to be more consistent now with posting:) We'll talk soon!