Two Man Rule

"My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem, but they don't really know me."

-Gary Shanding

     If you've been wondering why I haven't posted for about a week, I have a good explanation. I faced probably one of biggest fears that I have. I talked to a person that I care dearly for about my recovering addiction, and the pertinent role they have played in my return to a rich and full life. It didn't go as planned to be brief. I thought that because of the connection that we had cultivated, I could tell this person anything and the world would not end. (Now that was me being dramatic;) I wasn't wrong, but I wasn't right. Since I had told this person the thing that had been my largest struggle, I was hoping that me being vulnerable would deepen our connection. At this moment I feel as if it has done the exact opposite. I feel like I have been pushed away. Not because of me but for their own personal reasons that I'm unaware of. 

     Throughout our history we've gained much knowledge about one another, but there is always another level of intimacy to be progressed to. To clarify, intimacy is basically how close you are to another person. The more intimate you are with a person, the more they know about you, and the more you know about them. This means more options become available in the relationship. Not just on a physical level but emotional level. You can be there for a person in a completely different capacity than other people. The only way to progress successfully is if the timing is right though. This means BOTH people have to be ready for that step to work. It's kind of like in the movies, when you need two people turn two keys simultaneously in order to launch the nuclear missile. In this case, both people in the relationship need to turn the keys at the same time in order to unlock that next level of intimacy

     What I'm thinking is that with my situation, I was ready to turn the key and the other person wasn't. So that level remains unavailable. I would be lying if I didn't take this personally, but I understand that people need to do things on their own clock when it comes to personal things. I certainly took my sweet time to get to where I was comfortable turning that key, so who am I to rush someone. The only thing that you can do in this kind of situation is either quit, or wait patiently. Whatever choice you make is the right one. 

     I can appreciate either choice because it shows that you know what you want. What I hope that you got out of this post is that when it comes to intimacy, it is progressed only when both persons are ready. Just know that intimacy with another person is ultimately what makes us LIVE NOW! Connection and intimacy with people is what we live for, I know I do. It's not an easy thing to gain, but well worth the time and effort. Thanks for reading, and we'll talk soon!